Dear @kevinnewman

Dear Kevin,

Ever since you posted for me to give you some insight, I locked up. I had no idea what to say or do. Because honestly, I felt that whatever I had to say would not be worth your time to hear or read. To me, you seem to just have it all together. To me, your strength and love for Jesus surly outweighed mine. I came to the conclusion that thinking like that was selfish, and that I was only depriving God of what He wanted to say to you and to anyone else who needs to hear this.

I am so sorry you had to lose your daughter the way you did. Nothing pains me more, than to think that someone else has to feel like I do right now.

My daughters name is Ema. She was 15 when she was killed in a car accident, May 10, 2008, in Alvin, Tx. I didn't even learn of her death until the day after it happened.

Where was I when it did happen? I was at a building that was being turned into a church. I was doing work, that only four days earlier, felt called by God to leave and go help with, over 200 miles away from my own home.

She died on a Saturday, that Sunday, I was at my own home church, doing the work that I always do. Work that I love doing. The entire Saturday night before, and the entire Sunday morning, I had no idea she had died. I had no idea, that my ex-wife and two daughters (Franny and Victoria) were feeling the unimaginable pain, of knowing that their oldest sister had died.

As my wife, son and I left church, we had just turned on to the main road when my phone rang. It was my ex-wife, she told me that Ema had been in a car accident, and that "she didn't make it". Thankfully, I wasn't driving, and I started screaming at my wife (Susan) to park the car.

Kevin, at that moment I asked God "why?"

I asked Him why now.

I asked Him "why?", because only just 3 1/2 years earlier, my youngest sister Regina had been killed in a car accident.

I asked Him "why?", because only just that night before on my way back from Corpus Christi, Tx, I had told one of the men with me, that at that very moment, I felt "OK" with my sisters death.

Fast Forward to now. I had no idea how God was already working in the background. How right now, our house is for sale, so we can move to San Antonio, and simply serve at another church (@imaginechurch). I had no idea, that the day he took my daughter to finally live with Him, he was in the background preparing a new relationship I would have with the staff at Imagine Fellowship.

Right now, He has done nothing but create moments in my life where I have to have total faith in Him. Total faith that our home will sell, that we will find jobs, that all of our needs will be taken care of.

Truthfully, I thought I was living a radical life, just because I wore sandals and jeans to church. That was only the tip of the iceberg. The real radicalness happened when He opened up an opportunity for my family to sell everything and follow Him.

Kevin, my daughters death breathed new life into mine. It has strengthened my marriage, and it has strengthened my relationship with my daughters and ex-wife.

By no means has the hurt left, and I don't think it ever will. She was my daughter, and I'm going to miss her and what might have been. She had given me so much to be proud of her about. She was in the JrROTC and had possible aspirations of being in the military. She was growing up, and ready to start driving.

But God has chosen us to walk with Him in a different way. I would not change what has happened or going on. Our life has life has entered a true adventure status now.

Kevin, I know this letter to you really doesn't provide insight, but what I want you to know there is an adventure that God is about to put you on. One that you never thought possible. I am a firm believer that what we perceive as great tragedies are also great possibilities of things to come.

Revolution Church is about to go Whole Nutha Level, because God is going to use you in such an awesome way.

Gary is very blessed to have you there to serve along side him.

Know that someone you don't know, that lives in another town totally has your back, and supports you through prayer.

Jason Arredondo